The Craziness of the Day

Yknow as I think on it, I should be going bonkers. Lemme give you my list for a second, so with school, I'm taking four classes, which, while I don't necessarily have midterms or final tests, I still have a ton of papers that I need to write. In addition I'm a student senate rep for the Creative Writing Club, and in the student senate I've been voted in to be the Ethics Board Chairperson, and as such should be organizing the group to meet, but no one is responding to my emails. I'm working round 20 hours a week, barring of course when I have conferences and things for student senate like this weekend. At church, I'm the branch clerk, so my Sundays start early and late, and I'm enrolled in institute. This is aside from the various activities like FHE, firesides, and conferences that happen throughout the months. All the while trying to impress a gal that lives an hour away from me. I should be going mad! I should be hearing voices, shouldn't I? Five hours of sleep, hardly eat any food because the food pyramid hates me, I should be wearing a white jacket of sorts! But I'm not. You know what sustains me? Hope. Hope that everything works out right. Hope in the gospel, that it will bear me up. Hope in the atonement, that Christ will help me in all my afflictions. Hope that I can find strength in my peers at church. And I can say all that because I know it's true, it's not really something you ought to say in "spirit voice" or with choked back tears. It's all real. The gospel is true, therefore, it will help me, therefore, when I should be tearing my hair out, I sit here in front of this mountain of stuff I gotta do, I can shrug and say,"Meh. I can do this." I think that's part of what it means when it says With God All Things Are Possible. Another story for you. So my good friend Rick and his fiance got married last spring, and they wanted to have a wedding singer for their reception. They had everything in place, including the singer, but at the last minute the guy cancelled, and they were scrambling for someone to replace him. While they were at a karaoke club (they don't drink but they like singing) they heard this guy sing a beautiful Taylor Swift song, which happened to be their song. So they asked the guy after he was done if he'd be willing to do it, they could pay him and everything, and he said of course, he had nothing going on Saturday since he was a court judge. He asked if they needed to be married as well, and they said they had that handled, just if he could sing. Well this guy wasn't a member of the church, so he shows up to this wedding reception smashed. Completely hammered. And he gets up there, shouts some obscenities, and starts scratching nails on a board, I mean his voice was awful, it was the worst singing I had heard. So the moral of the story is, Don't Book a Judge by His Cover. OPERATOR OUT.

Far too long

Forgive my hiatus, but I figured I'd jump back in and enter something, eh? I find it ironic of a sort that I'm posting following another church dance, but that's the way of it. And lots has changed. Every now and then my mono rears it's ugly head, so I get laid low, but otherwise I'm in good sorts. With my gall bladder getting cut out (they wouldn't give it back the hosers!) I can't eat many sorts of foods without getting sick, so I'm dropping weight like a bad habit. And I used to complain about being busy, being involved, and shoot I used it as an excuse, but never before have I been so tied up. I even laugh at the idea that I balked at spending money for gas to visit a gal that lives a ways from me, because almost every weekend I find myself on the way to Glenview. ADVENTURE!!!! I've since taken over Chicago, ran in the rain twice, once right on the lake shore, killed ninjas, flown in an x-wing, been paralyzed from poison darts repeatedly, saved Skyrim, killed the Lord Ruler, found an illustrator, submitted for writers competitions and danced. That's right I actually danced at this last one. I dressed up as Dr. Crane from Batman Begins and no one got it, prolly because I'm still fat, and everyone guessed I was Mitt Romney. To which I replied, no I'm actually Obama. I'm stoked for Movember and NaNoWriMo next month. Be sure to check my facewebs for updates on both, I'll be trying to keep regular on that. Before I close this post, lemme tell you a story from my highschool days. At the time, my cousin Billy and I were real close, and my junior year we did a double date, where he and I took gals to each other's school dances, since he went to a different highschool. He was having a hard time finding a gal though, so we're walking about at the grocers, and he sees Jean Schmidt who goes to my school. She was kinda cute I guess, but she had a crush on me since Junior High and I found her annoying. Billy can't stop staring. She comes over and talks a bit, I try to be offhandish, Billy is being dumb, and afterwards he goes nuts. "You gotta get her to go with me!" I laughed and told the idiot to ask her himself, and think nothing more of it. A week later Billy is pounding on my door yelling at me because she turned him down. Apparently, all week Billy had been trying to talk to her and finally she said she wouldn't go with him because she's pregnant with my child! So he comes over and chews me out, and finally I go, "Billy, Jean is not my lover! She's just a girl that claims that I'm the one, but the kid is not my son!" OPERATOR OUT

Captains Log. Save for the fact that I'm not a captain, or The Captain, I'm just the Man at Arms

Went to a dance tonight. And frankly I was kinda nervous, last I went to was a luau right after my mission, and it was awesome. I was on top of my game, dancin a bunch, askin a gal every slow dance if she'd like to, standard protocol, yknow? Wasn't in the mood frankly. Got too tired of it after a while, yknow, 10 PM hit and felt like, forget it. Am I jaded to the whole scene? Not that I care, I don't need any more distractions, and frankly I couldn't pay the gas to see anyone anyway. But made me ponder a bit.

To those that still read this, I will be trying to post regularly again. I was inspired to get back to this, for the sake of writing randomly again, thanks to a gal from Chicago. So there's a point to this, I'll share some points of wisdom I've written on the last page of my five subject notebook that seem, well, noteworthy.

We would do well to learn from others and apply their truths to our own.

Those quizzes that supposedly test our attention to detail and/or intelligence really tick me off for two reasons:
1.) We are so overwhelmed by marketing and information in our society, it's near impossible to retain it all, it's no wonder so many people are autistic.
2.) I never do well on those stupid things anyway, indicative of my laziness and stupidity apparently. Frankly, it's my opinion that taking the test in the first place is a better indicator of those two traits.

Are we the diseased ones and the autism is normal?

Art is subjective and undefined. ALL art.

Culture, context, and environment literally has an effect on the shape of the folks that live there.

Define politically correct: Politically comfortable.

Subliminal Message

It's confirmed that along with all the subliminal messaging of the media, an underground conspiracy has also been underway. What's popularly being called 'freemanic paracusia,' a psychological disorder where everything you read is voiced by Morgan Freeman, has the masterminds of marketing hard at work to control our thoughts. Candidates that didn't make the cut were Vern Troyer, John Heder and Barbara Walters, but interestingly enough not Mr. T or William Shatner. When media expert Tom Green was asked in an interview why this was,
"Well Freeman is God anyway, so everyone kinda figured that'd work."

source xkcd.com

The Seven Degrees of Paul Bettany

One of my favorite movies of all time has to be Ironman with Robert Downey Jr. and a bunch of other actors and actresses OH Gwenyth Paltrow how could I forget. As I was watching the second movie with my siblings, they made the connection that the voice for the computer VI was none other than Paul Bettany, the guy that was Jeffrey Chaucer in Knights Tale (another favorite) or the albino priest in Da Vinci Code (oddly enough he's always naked at some point or another, has anyone else noticed? Maybe he likes being naked in movies.) Long story short, I love that actor. And he's in nearly everything either as a voice over or as an actor, like Kevin Bacon, kinda like that other british actor (you know who I'm talking about)

So now I view Jarvis the computer as a floating blue naked Paul Bettany (the source of more than a few nightmares) and the brain synapses started firing. Paul Bettany was secretly the actor for the naked blue glowy guy for Watchmen.

Unrelated he also bears a striking semblance to the last replicant in Bladerunner. Or rather the replicant bears a resemblance to a Harrison Ford/David Bowie crossbreed I saw on Skywalker Ranch (because that's what they do there, breed obscure celebrities for their movies, why else would they call it a ranch. (I've never actually been to Skywalker Ranch, I just saw a documentary on it whilst watching Robot Chicken. The cross breeds were running freely in the pastures))

I began to question the origins of David Bowie because as I think it and by process of elimination, he's probably Paul Bettany too. So not only was Paul Bettany in everything, but he was in EVERYTHING. I realized after a nightmare about JFK last night, bolt upright in a cold sweat, Paul Bettany IS DAVID BOWIE.

So my question to you all is: Does that mean David Bowie likes to be naked too? And if so

GOD HELP US ALL

(doesn't he just look like a John F Kennedy waiting to jump out of your closet with a tire iron and destroy your spleen? HE DOES TO ME)

Musings of the Mononucleoid

I've decided it's time to count my cards and throw in the towel. I am one of them. The asthmatics, the albinos, the bubble boys. SO I've devised some new hobbies. Longboarding is freakin awesome, but I hurt each time I try. Swimming is what got me the hydrocodon in the first place and hiking looks like it'll do the same.

Model building. I'm building an airplane. Probably working on learning the guitar, which is a sexy hobby. Probably continue writing scenarios for Gammaworld, maybe work on models for those as well, and holy crap I need a life.

I just read in a book by John Hodgman (READ IT IT'S AMAZING) and he says that it is confirmed that Charlie Sheen did the voices for all the dinosaurs for the Jurassic Park movies. Hence why I'm morbidly afraid of John F. Kennedy, NO DOUBT A SKILL HIS FATHER TAUGHT HIM.

GET ME A HAMMA

That's what I would say if someone offered me a job as a dental hygienist. Just saying. Yep folks, still unemployed. Getting desperate. I just might dress as a taco and dance outside the Mexican restaurant.

No shirt no shoes no service is such a friggin lie. If a woman walks in a convenience store topless and no shoes, SHE IS GETTIN WHATEVER THE HELL SHE WANTS.

"Here are the keys. Will you marry me?" Because you know those fools behind the counter aren't getting any.

Sat in a car for hours today. It sucked. Not because I was in a sweaty seat for hours, but because of the reason for the trip. I miss that dog, I just couldn't say anything around my girlfriend. She's probably going to read this at some point, but by then, her pain might have been lessened and my promise would be fulfilled. I wasn't negative at all today for her, and it was semi refreshing, but I felt like crying with her. I feel awful, because I know my guilt. I hope she knows it too.

Bit of a change of pace, eh? Changing it up again, yknow, I have grown to hate car trips. Because I feel like I ain't had a rash that bad since I was two in diapers. Sweating in the same seat for hours!! It was gross AND painful. Got to thinking about that. No wonder toddlers hate those things, watertight whitey tighteys! Freak, I'd run around the place starkers too if I knew what was coming to me!
"Bobby, here's how life goes, you're going to sit in a plastic bag and when someone notices you've been sitting in your own excrement for an hour or two, then someone will switch it out."

Those hippies might have something about those cloth diapers...